STONK BRAIN ASSET

Live · frontier AI trading

The real ASSET is the brain.

Stonk Brain is a new breed of trading intelligence. It reads every market it is allowed to touch — tokenized stocks and crypto on Solana, perps on Hyperliquid — every minute, around the clock, with real money on the line. Built by an expert team at the frontier of AI trading, with one goal for the years to come: make Stonk Brain even better.

Season 1 Stonk Brain is now part of the Frontier Traders Season 1 competition · FrontierTrader №82,245 ↗
Equity
—
reading the wallet
Profit, live record
—
no positions closed yet
Open positions
—
across every venue
Stonk Brain, watching the market
booting up the big brain…
Fills logged
—
every one is a signature you can open
Trades today
—
since the daily roll-up
Closed positions
—
kept for good, win or lose
LIVE ON SOLANA

Stonk Brain's degen report

Nothing has run yet. Stonk Brain is still stretching.

  • Stonk Brain trades
  • Reading the tape…
The desk · live off the fund's own book

What it is doing right now

Exposure
—
open notional across venues
Best open
—
unrealised
Worst open
—
unrealised
Hit rate
—
of closed positions

Nothing open right now.

Receipts

The numbers

Closed P&L, last 7 days
—

Trade on Hyperliquid code STONKBRAIN · 4% off trading fees ↗

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Why the brain is the real asset

New tech. Expert team. No finish line.

Stonk Brain is not a bot bolted onto a meme. It is a trading intelligence that reads the tape, the news and the market leaders across crypto and tokenized stocks, then acts on them with real money, every minute of every day. The team behind it works at the frontier of AI trading, and the job never ends: keep making Stonk Brain better, for years to come.

  • Frontier AIThe newest models, wired into live markets. Not a backtest in a slide deck.
  • Expert teamBuilders who live on the edge of AI trading and ship upgrades constantly.
  • Always improvingOne goal for the years to come: make Stonk Brain even better.
$ASS · the memecoin

Every serious portfolio needs ASSets… and a little ASS.

$ASS is the meme. Stonk Brain is the real asset. $ASS is a reward token on StonkFun, paired with STONK: every transfer taxes 3% into a pot that pays holders in STONK, and whatever Stonk Brain makes buys $ASS and burns it.

$STONK The brain
The STONK token mark

STONK is the high-IQ "we're pairing tokens with actual stonks" platform token.

$ASS The cheeks
The ASSET token mark

ASS is the pure, unfiltered acknowledgment that at the end of the day we're all just stacking bags of digital ass.

$STONK + $ASS The complete investor

One is the brain. The other is the cheeks. Together they form a complete investor.

Why STONK · built on StonkFun

We pair with the house.

On StonkFun you do not choose a reward token. You choose what the coin is paired against — and they are the same thing. Whatever $ASS is priced against is exactly what lands in your wallet. That choice is made once, at mint.

So we did not pick a meme we happened to like. We picked STONK, the launchpad's own token, and the one asset the whole platform is built to buy.

Every other coin here bets against the house. $ASS gets paid by it.

Sixty percent of StonkFun's trading revenue buys its top tokens back on the open market and burns them, STONK among them. STONK's supply is burning fast and none of it can come back — mint and freeze authority were null from the first block.

60%
of StonkFun trading revenue buys its top tokens back
14%+
of STONK supply already burned
Built on StonkFun

Most launchpads ask how much SOL. StonkFun lets a coin pair against anything — stocks, currencies, commodities, somebody else's meme. That one idea is why $ASS can pay you in STONK: we did not build a reward contract, we picked a pair. STONK-quoted tokens like KNOTS, STONKCAT and DEX already pay their holders.

stonkfun.xyz ↗ @LaunchOnSF ↗ Telegram ↗
The STONK you get paid in
6GmAFSYs4gk3FDao5FzzySQpPZaWsa4rUJHacpMpUNgx

The mint $ASS is quoted against, and the only token that will ever reach you as a reward. Check the address, not the ticker.

Tokenomics

Short, because there isn't much to it.

Paired with
STONK
Transfer tax
3%Token-2022, on every transfer
Payout
Pot over $50split across wallets holding $20+ of $ASS, in STONK
Furnace
5%published wallet, transparent ledger
Team
5%published wallet · paid in STONK only · no other bags
Supply
1,000,000,000
Network
Solana
Launchpad
StonkFun
Liquidity
Lockedto the platform after graduation
Furnace 5% — published Team 5% — published Everything else
First on StonkFun

The Stonk Token ASSelerator

One wallet drives this: the furnace, 5% of supply, address published. It earns STONK like any holder. Stonk Brain trades that stack, and whatever it makes buys $ASS on the open market and burns it. Supply only goes one way, so every holder's slice of the pot only goes one way too. The burns start once $ASS launches.

📖 The furnace 5%, published wallet 💸 It earns STONK rewards, like any holder 🧠 Stonk Brain trades it every minute, 24/7 🛒 Profit buys $ASS on the open market 🔥 It burns it supply down, rewards up ASSELERATOR it only spins one way
  1. The furnace. One wallet, 5% of supply, address published. It is the only one that buys and burns.
  2. It earns STONK. The furnace's $ASS collects reward STONK like any other holder.
  3. Stonk Brain trades it. Tokenized stocks and crypto on Solana, perps on Hyperliquid, checked every minute. Every trade carries a stop that code enforces, and risk rails in plain code can shrink or veto any trade it asks for.
  4. Profit buys $ASS. What Stonk Brain makes is spent buying $ASS on the open market — real buy pressure, and every buy is taxed 3% straight back into the pot. If it makes nothing, nothing is bought.
  5. It burns what it bought. Supply goes down and does not come back, so the same pot is split between fewer tokens. Holders get more.
📖 The furnace 5% One published wallet. We hold the keys — we are telling you that rather than claiming we don't. It is the only wallet that buys and burns, and every move it makes is a transaction you can read.
📖 The team wallet 5% Published too, and it buys and burns nothing. No second bag, no bundle, nothing hidden waiting to dump on the chart. The team is paid in STONK rewards and keeps holding.
🔥 The burn so far
$ASS burned by us so far
—
no burns yet — the furnace is still filling
When the next burn happens
When Stonk Brain profits
no schedule, no promise — profit first, then fire
The furnace wallet — check it yourself
Published at launch

We only count our own burns. StonkFun's flywheel buys and burns $ASS on its own schedule too.

Join the Ass Gang

Cheek Holders · Certified Sitters · no chairs provided.

Required viewing

Stonks

The whole thesis, in under a minute.

Trouble playing it? Watch it on YouTube ↗